


Sleeping Powder

by Burrtrice



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Drugs, Fist Fights, Kinda depressing, Multi, PTSD kinda, References to Drugs, Scars, Self-Harm, Song writing, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burrtrice/pseuds/Burrtrice
Summary: After a disastrous re encounter with somebody of his past that he thought gone forever, 2D realises that not everything is bright pink in a rockstar's world. Perhaps it's time to take back the sleeping powder after a long time living in the real world.Warning: Contains sensitive topics such as drug and alcohol abuse, self-harm and depression. It also contains a polyamorous relationship and graphic depictions of violence and sexuality.





	1. Ex's and Oh's

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Sleeping Powder](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/355221) by Burrtrice. 



> Welcome, readers, to my first Gorillaz fanfiction, the first out of many, hopefully.
> 
> I have decided to write this fanfiction in the name of my love for the band, and to the song that names this work, besides of my personal love to seeing 2D bruised, beaten up, and suffering in general. Maybe it'll contain things that not everyone likes, but I hope you all fancy it and that it'll be a story you enjoy reading even when it makes you suffer. I love masochistic readers. 
> 
> At the same time, this story aims to being as realistic as possible about the effects of drugs, and the depiction of adiction, depression and withdrawal, and also portrays the characters on a more... down-to-Earth style. If you think 2D will be a helpless baby, or that he'll be crawling for Murdoc to notice him, or that any stupid fangirl stereotype will be accomplished, abandon this work immediately. You'll be very deceived. I write what I like how I like to. 
> 
> It's also worth noting that even when this fanfiction goes through dense topics like alcohol, drugs and self-harm, I don't approve, condone, practice or partake in them. If you think to have a problem with any of the three, please, look for professional advice, and get out there as fast as possible. Your lives are one, and they matter to us all. 
> 
> Also, this fanfiction has been translated from Spanish, which is my mother language. If you find any mistakes, be it spelling or grammar, please tell me and I'll fix it asap. I also don't know how to write a decent cockney accent, so I'm sorry in advance. 
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy chapter one, if you can enjoy it, hahahah.

The bar «The Edge», in Essex, is the place where the man's story begins, as he was alone in that fresh summer night. The band had agreed to go out each one in separated ways to look for inspirations, so as to rite new lyrics for their upcoming album and singles and have variety. Noodle had gone to a Sushi house, to connect with Japan, and then she'd go looking for an arcade to play late at night. Russel would spend his hours in a fighting club, watching people smack their senses away. Murdoc decided to go to a Wiccan meetup, with the excuse that it was the closest thing to satanism he had at hand (excuse no one believed, of course, everyone knew exactly what he inteded to do).

  
Stuart was sitting on a table on his own, enjoying a root beer, holding a fountain pen and a notepad, trying to think, sticking his tongue out like if he was a child concentrating on coloring inside the lines. It was hard, being a little gone for the medication, that he had to have to take once he entered the bar because crowded places overwhelmed him. He didn't remember why he had come in the first place, yet he still tried to make it work.

  
«Cmon', there must be sumfink somewhere...» He spoke, in clear frustration. «I bet ev'ryone's written down sumfink already, and I can't...»

  
«Stuart? Stuart Pot?»

  
The male lifted his head up, and his jaw dropped. There, dressed in black leather, beautiful and provocative as ever, with her sunglasses and rockstar haircut, was Paula Cracker, the woman who had broken and stepped on his heart after caring for it for a long time. It was the person he expected the least to meet, in a place he should have expected as a re encounter point after all the conflict, in the less expected moment of his career.

  
«P-Paula.» 2D greeted, choking on the name, which came out with a little venom. «It's been a while.»

  
«You tell me!» She answered, apparently not realizing the damage she was doing to the man's mental health, a smile on her red painted lips. «Stuart, it's been so long since we last saw each other. Or should I call ya 2D, huh?» She asked, in a playful tone. He laughed softly and awkwardly, and barely managed to move when she sat beside him.

  
«Paula, I don't think it's a good moment.» 2D said, glaring at her with his empty eyes. «Besides, y'know perfec'ly why we don't talk anymore.»

  
«Stu, please! It's been years since that.» Said Paula, making a carefree gesture with her hand. The male shivered, visibly uncomfortable because of the nickname. «Don't cha know what an apology is, honey...?»

  
«Paula, please...»

  
«Come on, let's talk, I wanna know what's up with your life, rockstar.» The woman put her glasses down a little and winked at him. «For the old times, 'kay? I promise you there are no hidden intentions.»

  
Stuart doubted for some instants and swallowed, fidgeting with his fingers. On the one hand, Paula perfectly knew that he had screamed in her face that he wanted her out of his life forever. On the other, a broken heart and a night full out rage and alcohol could be a good inspiration for an indirect kind of song. His mind was a little hazy because of the beer and the Prozac, that he had took because of the anxiety, and that he considered to have again because he was starting to lose self-control. And this loss made him take an impulsive decision.

  
«Okay. I accept, it's foine, I'll tell ya.» He spoke quickly, panic making itself evident. Paula's lips curled in a smile as she put her vodka bottle on the table, right beside the root beer.

  
«That's my Stu!»

  
«Just... Don't call me Stu. Please. I beg o' you.» _For the sake of my mental health_ , he thought.

  
——

  
The night went on normally, with loud music, drinks coming and going, and the couple chatting amusingly. 2D had completely forgotten the main idea of coming to the bar and he was speaking to Paula, finishing to tell his oddysey in Plastic Beach, and telling her how they were building their relationships again after that. They were pretty drunk when this happened.

  
«Woooooow.» Paula spoke, with a drunken laugh, sitting on 2D's lap. «You're Indiana Jones himseeeelf, Stu! I don't get why I was so dumb back then.»

  
«Hehehehehe....» A high pitched laugh escaped from Stuart, who was red as a beet. «Yeeeah, sumfink like zat. But now I'm a rockstar an' life is bet-bettah'.» He swallowed. A long pause ensued. «Ahhhh, I hadn't noticed how bi... beautiful y'were.» Now Paula laughed, caressing his neck with a long finger.

  
«You flaaaaatter me, dear Stu. I don't get why I screwed Muhdoc, that fuckface.» She clicked her tongue. «He wasn't nearly as good in bed as you, darling.»

  
«You tell me.» 2D muttered.

  
There was a long pause, a little longer than the previous, in which she stared into his void eyes and he blinked a lot of times. A smile curled Paula's lips again when she got closer and bit his lower lip, pulling it forward with a very seductive expression. A shiver went down the male's spine.

  
«Paula...» He purred the name, almost bewitched, like if he was dreaming, which made the woman's smile turn wider.

  
«My flat is next door.» She said, as if she had read his thoughts. «How would you like it if...?» She didn't need to finish the sentence.

  
2D got up with her, an arm around her shoulders to give her support, a half smile even with his lack of teeth.

  
«Y'guide me, M'lady.»

  
——

  
As they entered the dark, messy like if a hurricane had passed, with a huge tobacco scent apartment, the makeout session turned gradually wilder. It as like if they wanted to tear their lips apart, with rage, with those words that remained unsaid when Paula was kicked out of Kong Studios. The clothes didn't last much on them either, and as they were going further less clothes remained. Stuart lifted her off the ground and dropped her on her bed as soon as they got to Paula's room.

  
Furious and eager sighs escaped from both bodies in heat, 2D being shirtless, with his belt half undone by the woman's hands, who was almost completely naked. They broke the kiss when the air escaped their lungs finally. The taste on their mouths was bitter, like their past, and Stuart felt the aftertaste of the Prozac. His rational part screamed that he was doing something bad, and he rushed for another pill. Paula laughed when she saw him doing so.

  
«Oh, so you get high too, bad boy?» She asked, with an amused purr, trying to grab the box, that he snatched out of her hands as soon as he swallowed the pill, putting the rest back in his pocket.

  
«N-No. I jus'... Need it.» Stuart sighed. Paula frowned, but she couldn't do more when he pressed his lips against her neck, kissing it with hunger and rage as his slender fingers made its way down the body, equally as slender. She let out a long moan when the lips went down to her chest, licking over the thin, translucent bra, tracing the shape of her right nipple as his hips moved against her in a firm sway.

  
«Stuart...» She muttered, arching her back a little, yet the pleasure was temporarily gone when she heard a sound coming from the singer's pants, lighting them up a little. It was a message from his phone, that even in his drunken mind the male couldn't ignore.

  
«Ah, sorry...» He said, putting his hand in his pocket and reading the message. All color drained from his face when he saw it was a selfie from Noodle, in the arcade, with a giant stuffed bear on her arms. The message that came with the picture was:

  
**_«Toochi, we have a new flatmate! Say hi to Damon ~»_ **  
**_«When are you coming?»_ **

  
A quick check of the superior part of the screen indicated him that it was 4 AM. Paula got up and looked at the picture.

  
«Awwww, so adorable...» She muttered, kissing the crook of the male's neck to make him go on, but 2D pulled her away slowly, like if the picture of the girl had reminded him of something. And it surely did. He was supposed to write a song, not to fuck an ex girlfriend!

  
«Paula, no. I... I don't want to.»

  
«Ah? No?» She asked, slightly annoyed. «You didn't say that minutes ago...» The slender fingers tried to make their way into his belt to touch him, but he pushed her away with his elbow.

  
«Paula, no, I... this... this is wrong, very wrong...» He started feeling dizzy because of the alcohol, and looked for his shirt and began to put it on. «I can't, Paula, no...»

  
«Whaddya mean you can't?» She spoke, a little more annoyed. A long pause, and something seemed to have clicked into her mind. «Is it because I'm not the fucking midget, right? Because that chinese chick turns you on, right?» Paula raised her voice, growling with her arms crossed. «You're fucking sick, Stuart!»

  
«Paula, no, it's not that, but...»

  
«Tell me the truth, Stuart Pot! Is it because you remembered her? Were you thinking of her a while ago, eh? Eh?»

  
«Please, shut up, I can't... I can't think...» Stuart started losing patience and got up, barely being able to walk, leaning against the wall. The woman ignored him and slapped him. It echoed in the entire apartment.

  
«I knew it! You're a pussy! You've always been! You can't do shit to me because you don't love me enough! I'll tell you what, Murdoc was a thousand times better than you, and we fucked for a good reason, Stuart! And y'know what? You're a poor moron, and I pity you! I was with you out of pity!»

  
«Wait, what...?»

  
«But whatever... While you were comatose, I slept with how many, ten? Each one of them better than you! And I don't need a bloody retarded, doped fuckface moron to be happy! Go fuck yourself, Stuart Pot!»

2D felt how his eye sockets got teary, making the edges salty. He could barely process Paula's words, as she pushed him out of the apartment, fully enraged, and he tried to explain himself to no avail, since she didn't seem to listen. And he barely knew what happened, when his vision passed from being partially blurry to a full blackout, as he was pushed out of the flat to the street.


	2. The Fall

When a single ray of sunlight entered through Noodle's room's blinds and took place on her closed eyes, she woke up, even before her alarm went off, Ninja Re Bang Bang by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu as the tone. An unusual favorite for the now 26 years old woman, but it was one of the songs that she enjoyed the most to listen in the morning to wake up full of energy.

Slowly, she stretched her arms up, sitting in the bed as she yawned. She looked around the room and she saw the walls, on vibrant colours, and things that hadn't been there before yet had joined her inventory after the night at the arcade. Sprite cans, a bottle of rum, marijuana filled gummy bears, tickets in a neat stack in the nightstand, and a gigantic white teddy bear with an orange bow around its neck.

« _Ohayou gozaimasu_ , Damon!» She greeted the bear lovingly, hugging him and falling on her back with the bear on her arms. «You are very comfortable, did you know that?» She smiled, giving the bear a skimo kiss before dropping it in her bed and escaping to her bathroom inside the bedroom to take a shower.

Noodle finished taking said bath and went out with a towel on her body and her wet hair on a ponytail. She looked for clothes on her drawers and got dressed while she turned on the radio on her alarm clock. The song that was currently playing was one of the band's old singles, concretely Doncamatic. Time was 9 in the morning sharp. She hummed the melody that Daley's voice followed, moving her head to the rhythm while she finished tying her sneakers.

As Noodle grew up, her clothing style kept changing and evolving along with her personality. She still was the playful child that ran around Kong Studios with her Gameboy and she was also the ruthless warrior from Plastic Beach, but she also had that attractive woman stance that she had began to create for herself. All those phases were combining in her. Today she wore a black t-shirt with the Demon Days cover, jean shorts, a red plaid shirt tied to her hips and Converse sneakers with a galaxy pattern, which she had customised, along with retro knee high socks with three blue stripes. Then she dried her hair, put on leather fingerless gloves, grabbed her makeup case, tied her hair in two messy braids, turned off the radio and left the room.

«Ohayou!» She greeted cheerily, sitting down on the table with her makeup case beside the plate of eggs and bacon that was there. Russel had just sat down, and Murdoc seemed to be consumed by his cellphone rather than by the delicious breakfast in front of him.

«Morning, Noodle.» Greeted back Russel, looking at the makeup case. «You know I don't like that you put makeup on at the table.»

«Well, I never said I would! I'm just putting it there.» She stuck her tongue out with an amused tone, as she took a piece of bread, cutting it in half to put it in the juicy yolk of the fried egg. When it was soaked with it, she began to eat.

«Hmmm. Okay...» The baterist's stern look now changed to the bassist. «Murdoc, could you leave that damn phone alone? If you don't eat now it'll get cold.»

«Aaaaaah! Those fucking Wiccas!» Murdoc growled, ignoring totally what Russel had just told him. «One wants to get more intimate with them, and they tell you all that spiritual shit about Mother Earth or something...»

«I thought you were genuinely interested in what the girls had to tell you.» Russel answered, deceived in some way.

«Well you thought wrong, King King! They promised to keep in touch and all they gave me was a fake number and a bloody religion!»

«Murdoc, watch your language in front of Noodle.» The baterist scolded him, which was received with a mischievous laugh from the guitar player.

«Uncle R, I'm no longer a kid, it's fine.» She said kindly, eating more of the yolk with the bread, grabbing two more pieces to make a sandwich with her egg and bacon together. Though she left the sandwich on the plate when she noticed something. «Toochi isn't home yet?»

The three people in the table shut their mouths. Murdoc stopped yelling at his phone and put it away, and Russel sank deep in thought while putting his cutlery on the table, leaving the egg and bacon on the top of the fork.

«Didn't you guys hear him at the stairwell or something?» He asked.

«I thought you had met him and that he was sleeping.» Answered Murdoc.

«It's almost nine thirty and Toochi hasn't even answered the message I sent him last night...» Said Noodle with a frown.

«Okay, now I'm worried. Where did faceache say he'd go?»

«To a bar...  _Demo_ , there's a thousand bars in London.»

«Noods is right. Let's hope nothing bad has happened to him and that he just fell asleep on the underground again or something.».

«Is that good or bad?»

«Mh...»

«Cmon', Noodle, don't cry, 2D will soon return home safe and sound.»

«Or in a body bag...»

«Murdoc, shut it!»

Sudenly, Noodle got up from the table, taking the makeup case with her and leaving the food there, with her eyes wide open and shining like if she had the idea of the century. Then she got out of the kitchen and climbed the stairs to her room. The two remaining members followed her on hey way up, finding her sitting on her bed in lotus position, leaning on the giant bear, with a black laptop full of stickers in the back. Some bought by her, some given to her by fans.

«What's the big idea, Noodle? Playing rhythm games until 2D appears?» Murdoc asked, sitting on the bed in front of her, while Russel made a little space beside her, looking at the bass player sternly once again.

«You'd wish! No, it's not that... Toochi has an Iphone, right? We coul trace his phone's location...» Said the woman, entering the website to look for the phone. «It's a good thing we decided to share our ID's and passwords, right?»

«Noodle, you're such a genius!» Murdoc smiled, just like the drummer did. «I could kiss you, but... Ah, fuck it!» He grabbed her cheeks and smooched her lips quickly, and Russel did the same. Noodle giggled.

«Hey, hey, you two, let's find Toochi and then we'll kiss all you wanna, okay?» She said, with an amusing tone, putting the required data. Soon a map appeared on screen. «The Edge? That's a bar in Soho...» Spoke the woman, changing her tone to one of maximum worr. Maybe they had snuck something into his drink? She didn't want to imagine it.

«I see the pretty boy likes big stuff...» Murdoc laughed to himself.

«Let's go. We wouldn't want to find him in trouble, would we now?» Russel said. Immediately Noodle closed the laptop and put it back on her drawer, and the three of them were off to the Edge in the car. Nobody turned the radio on, nor spoke a word. There was only the sound of the objects in Noodle's case as she put them in and out.

——

«Is he dead? IS HE DEAD?!»

«He looks like he is...»

«He doesn't look fine, that's right.»

_«Aaah, kuso! Nanika o suru dayo! Ima kara! Mou!»_

«Noodle, I don't get any word you say! Stop crying, for fuck's sake!»

«Calm down, little one, he'll be fine, you'll see...»

«Toochi,  _onegai... onegai... me wo akete...»_

«Come on, darlin', stop crying, I don't like it when you choke...»

Stuart couldn't open his eyes, and his head felt heavy as hell, combined with the heartache that Paula's words brought to him last night, yet he could listen the voices of his bandmates like distant echoes, as if they were locked up in a box very far away from him. He could also hear the motor of the car drilling his head, and feel Noodle's knees on the back of her head while perceiving her quiet sobs. It was strange not to hear the radio playing music, but he was infinitely thankful that they hadn't turned it on, otherwise his head would feel worse.

His mind tried to review last day's events. He got up, they had breakfast, he read magazines on his room, he ate something else, there was a proposal... a proposal he couldn't quite remember. He entered The Edge, tried to write a song and saw a woman. A woman he didn't identify yet. Then he remembered that said woman screamed something at him, that something was horrible, he fell on his back, and nothing. He tried to force himself to remember again, but his head was like a static TV, and he couldn't tune the right channel.

——

Soon he lost consciousness again, and when he woke up once more, the voices of his bandmates were back as he tried to open his eyes.

«He's waking up, he's waking up!»

«Shh, darlin', chill, let's give him space. He doesn't look good.»

«Yeah, yeah, you're right...»

«2D, it's Russel. Earth to 2D. You alright, brother?»

«Ugh...»

Everything was spinning, and he couldn't recognize his own room, dark and messy as always. He could barely see the light of the lamp beside him, and the worried faces of Russel and Noodle over him. Her makeup was smeared, but she seemed not to mind that. Memories of last night were starting to come back, and things were clearer.

«Wha... What happ'nd?» Stuart did not recognize his own voice. It was like if somebody had put it on a synth, tuned it with a robot voice filter and put it on slow-mo.

«Toochi, you didn't come home last night, and we got worried... We traced your Iphone and we found you outside a bar, you looked like if you were dead...» Noodle said, putting her hand over the singer's softly. He still felt like if something was hitting his head with every word that came out of his friend's mouth, but he didn't have the heart to tell her to shut up when he saw how she was.

«We brought you here and you didn't answer until now.» Russel finished. He had realized something was wrong and he spoke in a low voice. «Man, we thought you were a goner. We're glad it wasn't like that.»

«I also thought...» Stuart wanted to talk, but an acid, disgusting flavor went up his throat, making a horrible noise. Noodle and Russel looked at themselves and got the memo that the hangover was very bad. «I'm foine, it's n...» But he couldn't keep speaking, because he sat up on the bed covering his mouth as he started to gag again.

«Come on, Toochi, take it out.» The woman said, getting up with Russel to carry 2D to the bathroom inside the room. «It's better if you let it out.»

He barely made it to the toilet, throwing up everything he had eaten the previous day in a sudden way, coughing when hechoked in some points. Russel helped him take the hair out of his way and Noodle caressed his back. He was done after several instants, and nothing else was left on his stomach.

Noodle helped him sit in the bathtub, looking for a tissue to clean his mouth. After flushing for the last time, she put the toilet lid down and sat in front of him, offering a little mouthwash to help him take the bad flavor out of his mouth. Stuart took it and spit it out on the tub, getting in afterwards and curling up in a ball. Russel brought a bucket of cold water and threw it over 2D's head, making him shiver a little.

«You need to wake up, man. You'll thank me later.» Said the drummer, with a little sadness. But he shut up when he heard small sobs coming from the curled up body. «Oh, cmon', I'm sorry...»

«'s not that...» Stuart spoke, his voice a thread, still trembling as he sat up. «Keep doin' that, it doesn' mattah.»

«Okay...» Russel sighed as he turned on the cold water of the shower, letting it fall over the singer's body. Noodle looked at him with a small worried frown when she saw him cry.

«Toochi... What's wrong? Do you still feel bad?» She extended a hand and caressed his wet face.

«Noodz...» He covered his face with his hands. «Russ... Russ, I saw Paula again...»

«Oh» Was the simple answer from the drummer, but it had a very evident rage mixed with disgust. «That Paula?» 2D nodded. «OH.»

«¿Po-o-ra?» Asked Noodle, tilting her head a little, her accent tweaking the name. «Toochi's ex?» Both males nodded. «Oh...»

Stuart sat up with his back leant against the faucets, neverminding if it was umcomfortable, hugging his knees and burying his face in them. It had been several years, there were several people, and still it hurt. And it hurt more because she had promised him a night of memories and love, even when it was fake, and it turned out to be a painful and cruel night. And then, the things she said were still burning.

«Hey, Toochi, don't cry, please...» Noodle said. «It'd be better if you took your clothes off so you don't catch a cold for wearing wet clothes, okay? I'll help you out if you want.»

«Thank you...» 2D muttered carelessly, sobbing. Noodle sat at the edge of the tub and helped taking his shirt off, folding it and leaving it over the toilet. Russel joined in, taking his pants and underwear off with some difficulty. The woman got out of the room for a moment, letting the drummer speak to the other male.

«Can I ask what happened with that witch, brother?»

«Russ... Russ, she...» 2D began, but he went quiet again. «She said such ugly things...»

«Just like her.» Russel clicked his tongue. «Bud, with all respect, why does it affect you so much what she has to say?»

«I... I don' know... I wanna believe t'was the effect of the Prozac, bu' it's gone an' the pain's still there...» Stuart sobbed, hugging himself. Noodle came back to turn off the water, with a big towel on her hands. Russel helped the singer to get up while she wrapped him with the fabric, fuzzy and warm since she had put in on the dryer. 2D closed his eyes, letting warmth sink into him as he was led back to his bed.

«Be right back, Toochi, I left something else on the dryer.» Noodle said once she left him sitting down, coming back moments later with a smaller towel to dry his hair and with clean clothes neatly folded.

«Noodz, you're truly an angel.» Stuart spoke, sobbing again.

«No, I only do what I must because I love you and I'm very worried about you.» She kissed his forehead softy and used the towel to dry his hair, taking care not to move his head too much. Russel also got out of the room and came back with an Alka Seltzer on a glass, which he left on the nightstand.

Meanwhile, Stuart still felt weak, therefore useless. He couldn't move his joints much, because he felt them rusty like if they were pieces of machinery of a factory that had been shut down years ago, and the fact of not being able to help Noodle in taking care of himself made him feel bad. Additionally, Paula's words still echoed in him, and pain and nausea were such that he felt like passing out in any minute. When he came back to his senses for a little, he had his hair moderately dried, he was dressed in warm clothes (black jeans and his Resident Evil T-shirt) and he was laying with his head on his pillow.

«I won't force you to tell you what happened last night, since I know it's not nice.» Spoke Noodle, and Russel nodded. «Tell us when you're in the mood, 'kay?»

«And take this, brother, it'll make your head clearer.» The drummer gave him the glass, which Stuart took with slow gulps before burying himself in the pillow again.

«...» He was about to answer, but everything faded to black and felt fluffier around him, and he found himself uncapable of saying another word. Paula's words were a distant echo, just like the voice of his two bandmates, and the pain on his chest kept hitting him as he drifted out of consciousness once more.


End file.
